Wednesday, December 5, 2012

Irene Callender and the Big Assist


                               Irene and her boys

     Tuesday night I listened to the Wolves on the radio as I drove down to the small town of Alpha, Minnesota. The Wolves were in Philly taking on the 76ers, and from the sounds of it on WCCO, they were having themselves quite a first half. Threeball after threeball went through for them as they built a 20-point first-half lead and my Subaru ate up the miles on Highway 60 West, County Road 4 South, and I-90 West from Mankato to Alpha. Alexey Shved was heating up, JJ Barea was passing for easy ones and hitting his own shot, and the Sixers couldn’t buy a bucket. But I was thinking about the old days.
     The reason I was heading to Alpha (pop. 116) was to pay my respects to a great woman by the name of Irene Callender. Irene passed away December 1 after a bout with pancreatic cancer, but not until she had spent 90 and a half full years on this earth. You may not have known Irene (I only met her a handful of times, myself), but you know her type. She was one of those people who prop up other people, one of those people who step up to the plate, who get their hands dirty, who make things go. As her life pertained to mine, she was the lifeline for and grandmother of one of my best friends, Ronnie Gasca, and his younger brother Randy.
     I first met Ronnie when my high school hoops teams were whipping his high school teams’ butts in southwestern Minnesota. A couple years later, we came together to play on the same college ball team at Worthington Community College (now called Minnesota West), and we roomed together there, too, after Ronnie got kicked out of his apartment halfway through the year when his dipstick roommates failed to pay the electricity or some dumb thing and the management locked the doors and cut the lights (which Ronnie found out one night after practice when he arrived home to find deadbolts, gone roommates, and darkness). At Worthington, Ronnie was the only guy I ever played with who I didn’t mind bumping me over from the point to the two-guard, and as a result, I had the most fun and successful year of basketball of my entire life—we made the national tourney in Elmira, New York, and finished 7th in the nation, best in Bluejay history to this day.
     But what I remember more about that year than Ronnie’s sweet dishes and Casey Werner’s automatic turnaround J and Adam Hale’s lucky jockstrap named Ol’ Blue were the good people I met that year. Coach Mike Augustine, who possessed the biggest heart of any coach I ever had, Mike and Karen Fury, Denny Hale, Arlo Mogck, Jerry Jansen, the genius Becky Potts, Muff Teerink, Weime, Reusche, the good folks at the Daily Globe, and yes, Irene Callender.
     I went to Irene’s house once after we watched Ronnie’s bro Randy play in a game for Jackson High. Randy hadn’t had a great game and his team had lost, but Ronnie and I went to go say hey to him at Gram’s house where he lived, because that’s what you did after those games—go say hey to the folks and have something to eat. Randy was in a foul mood, especially after Ronnie asked him why he’d missed so many shots that night—nice question, Ronnie—and soon they were about to start brawling. But before anything other than words could start flying, in stepped the littlest, sweetest old lady I’d seen. “Randy!” she said. “Ronnie!” And then, like dogs who hear their master, her grandsons ceased and desisted. I couldn’t believe such a sweet-looking grandma could have such an effect on a pair of wild young buckaroos like that.
     I would meet Irene a number of times after that, and I’d hear Ronnie talking to his Gram on the phone in the years to come, going to her when he needed something: advice, food, a little cash, a laugh, love. She gave it all to those boys for many years when they didn’t have much else in the town they grew up in. I remember how Ronnie told me once that when Irene’s husband passed when those boys were still pups, he made her vow, just before he died, that she’d take care of those boys and see them through. I found it fitting that in the last three months of Irene’s life, Ronnie moved her into his family’s home.
So I made it to Alpha, and I drove around town three times—which took less than five minutes—the Wolves on the radio, looking for the funeral home so I could attend the wake. No luck, and not much going on. So I did what you do in a small town when you can’t find someone: just go to the house with the most lights on, most cars in the driveway, knock on the door, and ask. Might sound crazy, but the girl who answered the door got her mother and father without batting an eye, and the two of them treated me with care, the lady saying, “Oh, I always liked Irene,” and the father directing me six miles down the road to Jackson where I found the funeral home without a problem and met Ronnie, Randy, and Irene’s other loved ones. After the wake, we went out for some food, because that’s what you do in these small towns—you see the folks and have something to eat. I met Ronnie’s son Christian, and Randy’s son Preston, both two years old and full of the jumping beans. I talked to Ronnie’s wife Sonja and her daughter Maddie, beauties both. I talked to some of the old folks. When I got my wallet out to pay my bill, Ronnie told me it was already paid for.
     “What?” I said. “Who paid?”
     “Gram did,” Ronnie said. “She said she wanted to make sure we had something to eat.”
     Of course.
     Irene Callender was buried today, but she lives on in my friend and his brother. Bless her.

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